The only thing I ever believe is what I have personally heard or seen with my own eyes and ears. I don’t believe that Olestra (found in "WOW" chips) causes gastric disturbances. I eat them all the time, sometimes killing a whole bag in one sitting, and I’ve never had a problem. I also don’t believe that smoking during pregnancy causes low birth weight – I smoked with both of my kids, who weighed in at a healthy 7 ½ and 8 pounds (and have perfectly healthy respiratory systems, I might add). We’ve been told that greenhouse gases (carbon dioxide) will kill off our vegetation – yet how can that be when my husband, whose family owns a large greenhouse, is considering the purchase of a CO₂ generator so that his plants will grow larger and more lush?

This sort of silliness is known as "junk science." Junk science happens when a particular group wants to further their agenda or a politician wants to push through some wacky social program. That’s like my saying, "Chocolate makes you happy and happy people live longer. Therefore, chocolate makes you live longer." And politicians like Al Gore, who most certainly did not invent the Internet, getting involved with science makes me cringe. When those idiots start sticking their fingers in, we know that corruption will be the order of the day!

And the American people eat this stuff up! I remember when "they" came up with the idea that whenever you flush a commercial toilet, all kinds of bacteria are released into the air, causing untold illnesses and diseases. One of my pals was so psyched out by this that she refused to let her daughter use a public toilet, no matter how bad she had go! Oprah set the beef industry on its ear when she had that E coli guy on her show. Yuck! No hamburgers for us, either! And how many of you threw away your cell phone because "they" said it caused cancer? Whatever the hysteria of the day, you can be sure that thousands, if not millions, of people will take action.

Listen up, people! Everything you do, eat or breathe could possibly kill or injure you. And that’s not an exaggeration! How many of you have been injured by the mishandling of an innocuous piece of paper, resulting in a cut on your finger? How many of you have stubbed your toe walking in your own home? How many of you have been stung by a bee in your garden? Or how about your flu-ridden co-worker, hacking his germs all over the place?

According to the Center for Disease Control (http://www.cdc.gov/), you’re more likely to commit suicide or literally die of pneumonia than you are of contracting the AIDS virus. Yet you don’t see any Hollywood celebrities wearing ribbons for those maladies, do you? How often are household accidents mentioned in the news? Yet, you’re six times more likely to die in a household accident than you are from a firearm. As a matter of fact, if we freak out and start banning causes of death, your own goofy body, which is subject to deterioration, should be the first thing to go! The leading cause of death in America is heart disease, which can be prevented by getting regular exercise and having healthy eating habits. So here we go, eating Meat Lovers pizza and watching the tube, not giving a thought in the world about how it’s affecting our bodies – yet we refuse to barbecue because it causes cancer.

And while I’m casting a skeptical eye on all of these junk science death traps, let me leave you with this last thought:

If seatbelts save lives, and our children’s lives are important…why aren’t there seatbelts on school buses?